For a better life.

Most of us feel that we have not reached our pinnacle- what we want out of life or what we feel like we are meant to do. We might be on our way, and certainly everyone moves at their own pace. I mean, I didn’t graduate from college and start my career until I was thirty so I’ve clearly taken my time. However, what excuse am I using now to say why I’m not exactly where I want to be?  That I don’t have enough money?  That I don’t have time?  The platitudes we blindly vomit as we say what we want and why we aren’t there yet.  Well, there’s a phrase around here “want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one gets full faster.” It seems as though I’ve been shitting in my hand recently and I’ve been satisfied that my hand was at least full of something. However, I know in my heart I can do better, do more, be better, and be more satisfied.  I owe it to myself, and I’ve decided I love myself enough to do it. 

I’ve often said I want to brush up on my French. I want to learn to play my grandad’s banjo. I want all of these things.  Have I put any energy toward them? Other than acquiring the materials to do such, no I have not. And that’s no one’s fault but my own.  I haven’t been too busy.  I’ve been distracted.  TV shows, bars and booze at home, movies, dating sites- one distraction after another that leads to nothing and nothing comes of it.  None of that has enriched my life, and most of it has only taught me what I don’t want out of life so why am I wasting my time with them?  What fulfillment am I gaining from this?  None. It’s not feeding me, stomach nor brain, and my hunger remains.  If anything, it has largely been demotivational and counterproductive.  It’s time to leave that for now.

This is my start to my true hustle.  6 months to be where I want to be.  Head down, blinders on, do what it takes to have a happier life.  Six months is nothing really in the grand scheme of life- if I live to be in my 70’s then it was roughly 1/140^th of my life and lord knows I’ve wasted much more of my life than that.  So why not take this time to springboard myself forward and be able to truly enjoy my life and find true and lasting fulfillment? I have cancelled all of my streaming apps, my dating apps, I’m taking a drinking hiatus, and I’m getting rid of unfulfilling distractions- including people. I want to know that I did everything it took to find the life I know I deserve and the life that will allow me to make an impression. I’ve been loosely on my way for a few years now, however, these distractions have weighed me down. Instead of putting in more effort to my goals, I was putting energy into silly things that I’ve been dragging around like and anchor and wondering why I’m being held back.  No more, not at least for now.  Not until I am comfortable and settled in the life that I want to afford myself.  On upon that realization I’ll kick my feet up, crack open a beer or bottle of wine, and say “I’m glad I did it.”  It’s not even a sacrifice-it’s a blessing to come to this realization and have the courage to change my ways. 

Too many people exist instead of thrive.  Why is that?  Is it because that’s what our parents did?  Is that what the people around us are doing?  Do we not realize that life can be better, or does it just seem out of reach?  If you watch one tv show 5x week, that’s 5 hours of energy you have put into something that is not a goal.  If you smoke a pack a day that is over $2k a year you’ve put into something with no returns.  How many wasted hours are spent mindlessly arguing on social media or liking celebrity posts that don’t give a shit about you or your goals?  An evening of drinking is often more than that- its expensive and takes part of your life away the next day also all for a little dopamine drop that is unfulfilling. What do you always say you’d like to do?  Everyone does it: I’d like to ___________ but I don’t have money/time/know how/whatever excuse.  Well, stop. Get on it.  At the end of your life are you going to say “You know what, I’m really glad I watched every episode of Game Of Thrones” or can you spend that 73 hours of your life learning a new skill or trade?  Planting a garden?  That alone is one hour of life weekly for a year and a half.

This post is not only about my personal realization but serves to inspire.  What are your anchors?  What could you hold back from for 1 month/3 months/6 months to allow yourself the grace to have a better life?  Make sure you are still taking time to rest as that is important- we can’t be productive all the time.  Yet that time can even be spent meditating, reading, crafting, sleeping, taking a nice walk- something more fulfilling than trash tv and excuses as to why you’re not achieving things you say you want to.  And I’m not even saying for a lifetime- just for now, what would allow you to have a better life in the long run?