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Inspiration, boundaries, and doing it for yourself. 

 

 

     Often I have people ask me “How do you do it?  How do you keep inspiration? What about when you don’t want to do it?”  I’m not ever sure how to answer that.  If you know me, I’m actually pretty bad at being inspirational other than what you take from me because I always just say “You’re either going to do it or you’re not.” I cannot make you do anything.  I can help to hold you accountable and I can give you guidance on what you should be doing but I cannot pick your legs up and move them for you.  Well, I could- but it wouldn’t do any good and it would be a very uncomfortable situation for both of us.  So that’s it- you’re either going to do it or you’re not.  Maybe inspiration come down to why you’re doing it though- and I do it for me.  No one else.  And that’s not selfish to say that I take care of myself for me.

 

     Personally, my inspiration comes from where I came from- an unhealthy family with terrible eating habits, but also being the skinny weak kid that couldn’t do much and got made fun of…a lot.  In the south it’s better to be a fat boy than a skinny boy because if you’re fat at least you’re stronger and that’s more manly than being a thin weakling.  However, I was also so thin that it wasn’t healthy- remember everyone, skinny doesn’t mean healthy, and skinny doesn’t even necessarily mean healthier than overweight if you’re skinny but inactive.  I found a love for lifting weights in my mid-20s and have kept it up for over ten years now and even ended up majoring in exercise science, teaching exercise science, getting lots of certs, and you know the rest.  Maybe I’m working out to show my previous bullies that I can be better than them, or to be able to stand up to bullies these days because they never go away for some of us.  I know I’m working out because it feels good, both mentally and physically and I am proud of my progress.  Maybe I’m working out because I have body dysmorphia where no matter how much muscle I gain I always see the skinny kid who was made fun of… I hope it’s less the latter.  I know I feel good, and I know I should so I can be healthy and you’re either going to do it or you’re not so why not.

 

 

     I set my boundaries to be able to hold myself accountable for health and my personal wellness. I make time (I always say if you don’t make time you’ll run out of time) and I don’t let myself down.  I set boundaries with people around me- I’m sorry, I can’t help you during this time because that’s my workout time, or no I can’t reschedule because this is how my day is planned.  When you take control of your own life and health then no one can take that from you, and other people also start respecting your time as well.  Make sure you have a friend group that supports you.  I have been told many times “I don’t understand why you work out so much you’re already skinny…”  Well, that’s not a healthy question for either party and undermines the value of your health and the value they put in aesthetic versus health.  You have to take care of yourself, plain and simple.  Decide one day that you’re worth it and watch your life change.  I’ve said this many times also – It’s true cannot pour from an empty cup, but you shouldn’t let your cup be anything less than full.  Make sure it is overflowing and let others drink from the saucer.  Do not let others take anything away from you, especially your value and your health.  If you died from not taking care of yourself then who would care for them?  You make sure that you are at no less than 100% operating capacity first then you can help others, and that takes prioritizing your wellness. And don’t ever for a moment feel like that is selfish.

 

 

     So do it for yourself.  No one else. Don’t do it for your kids.  Don’t do it for your spouse or family.  Do it for you.  Decide one day that you are worth it and go for it.  The people around you should be supportive of what is best for you- and if they’re not then THEY’RE not best for you.  Saying that you’re doing it for anyone else also isn’t fair to that person- telling someone you changed your life for them sounds good in movies but is actually stressful in real life.  Don’t give anyone else power to take it away from you, and don’t put that stress on anyone else. It is just for you.

 

 

     So motivation?  I wish I had some big beautiful “the world is a beautiful place” speech to throw out there but my motivation is this- You’re either going to do it or not, and I’m worth doing it.