It takes a village

Growing up in a Europhile family, more specifically Francophile (we have had family in France many times over the years, visited them often, and actually are French descendants), I have often heard the phrase “It takes a village…”  This has many meanings. Most often it is in relation to raising a child. It takes a village to raise a child. To help the parents, to teach the child and give love, and to watch over everyone.  It can move into a meaning of community- it takes a village to affect change, to rally together when needed, to give support and help to those who need it, etc.  We cannot survive *well* alone, and it takes a village for a well-rounded and more pleasant experience in life.  It gives us access to different professionals and those with varying experiences, it gives us comfort, and shows us we are not alone in this life.  You’re never as alone as you feel, and when we foster friendships and relationships we are building our essential “village”.

You are who you surround yourself with.  We have also heard that many times in life.  You are only as good as the sum of your surroundings, so are you building your village with members who are there to be mutually beneficial?  Are your townspeople holding their own and equally contributing to the shared experience of life?  This balance often isn’t exactly 50/50 however over an average of time it should be close.  I challenge you today to think of your relationships and the villagers in your life and evaluate their contributions, their needs, and what they are bringing to the communal table of life.  I have often been asked “how are you still single?”  My reply? “I bring enough to the table to eat alone.”  I want to share my bounty with someone yet I cannot sacrifice myself and I refuse to starve to feed those around me.

Can you rely on your village in times of need?  Are there any fair-weather tenants or have you garnered a group that will help you up when you fall?  So many times in life we feel like our struggles are just our own and that we don’t want to be a burden on anyone. I can assure you that if you have built an affable village then your pain is always shared.  Many hands carry grief and many hands make for lighter work. Those around you will want better for you, will hurt when you hurt, and will rejoice in your own revelry.

In our evaluation of our village or social network we must think of social wellness and it’s meaning.  It is fostering a strong connection with others to be able to share together, and also the ability to be able to be alone with your thoughts and process your feelings. Just as we need a village we need solitary time and this must be a balance.  Always surrounding yourself by lots of people isn’t necessarily a good thing, and neither is constant solitude. In your metaphorical village are you able to visit others and common areas, as well as maintaining your own home and wellness? It is important to take care of our own homes and have a place to recharge as a sort of processing and refuge time. 

Today I challenge you to think of your friends, family, and coworkers- your essential village, and take a moment to find comfort in the thought that you are never as alone as it often feels, and maybe even reach out.  These connections are essential to our life and wellness, and maybe someone else also needs to feel less alone today and your voice might be the best thing to happen to them today. Conversely, take notice of those in your life who only take, steal your joy, and invade your home and live rent free in your mind.  Build yourself a community- no matter how far spread we may all be- that is welcoming, comforting, reliable, and makes your life better, and one in which you can also contribute.  There should be a common set of morals and values, sprinkled with differences in opinions to engage thought, and with a variety of experience and talent.  We directly affect our village as much as it shapes our day to day lives.  It takes a village to raise a child.  It takes a village to be well.  It takes a village, period.