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This is the next step in my adventure, and as I share this with you I want to ask a question: What sort of life are you affording yourself?  

 

What sort of life are you affording yourself? 

 

 

     I worded that very purposefully. What sort of life are you affording yourself?  The definition of afford is to provide or supply. We think of it often in monetary units, but it can measured in many ways.  Our lives are products of what we afford our self.  So if we want to have something better, we need to provide for better.

 

 

     I am not using this in the context of money currently.  Let us look into relationships first.  This can be split into two factions: romantic and platonic.  Both can be summarized by engagement, development, stimulation, satisfaction- are we being fulfilled? Are these relationships well developed, intellectually stimulating, being developed with similarities and challenges, and the intrinsic and extrinsic satisfaction of our engagements? If not, what are you doing to afford yourself a better level of engagement?  That’s right- YOU.  What are YOU doing?  Are you blaming the people you are surrounded by for your lack of growth and stimulation?  Are the people around you encouraging growth, or are they also blaming what they are surrounded by for lack of stimulation?  Personally, I have had to reach this conclusion myself recently.  I was suffering from lack of engaging conversation.  Lack of stimulation intellectually, and of motivating and challenging views and researched ideals and thoughts.  I blamed it on my surroundings:  well, there aren’t that many well-educated professionals around me.  Not enough people who believe in learning, change, development, challenging yourself- so I have to move, right?  I need to place myself somewhere that there are more people like me? Possibly. But also, what am I doing differently to try to meet those people?  Hanging out with the same uninspired groups or staying by myself.  That’s not going to change a damn thing.  If I want to be able to speak to people who have solid political ideals and views why am I not going to open city council meetings?  If I want to discuss art why am I not going to the museum?  If I want to find people who do engaging things other than drink why am I trying to meet these people in bars? Also, what am I doing to foster this growth in those people around me? I can’t complain about things I am not trying to change.

 

 

     So then monetarily- what am I affording myself?  Am I staying in the same complacent job because of my comfort zone?  Am I challenging myself to be able to afford myself more financial comfort?  Am I working to develop my skill set or homing in on my target population?  Deciding that we need to make more money is a great idea, but when it’s an idea with no application it’s just a want and to borrow a phrase from my father “want in one hand and shit in the other and see which gets full faster.” There are a multitude of ways to develop ourselves to grow our loves, careers (not jobs but careers), and position in life.  This might include school, practice, focus groups, advertising- the methods are limitless. The only limiting factor is what you are affording yourself.  You might say you don’t have money for lessons.  Ok, so YouTube something. There are thousands of professionals on the internet waiting to share their experience with you.  You don’t have time?  I hear this one a lot.  If you can tell me what is going on currently in any TV show you have time to develop any of your positions in life- relationship, career, health… you have just made something else your priority or you have decided that it’s not your fault that you are stuck where you are.  You are not affording yourself a better life. 

 

 

     Take the moment to think about what you want to achieve, and then tell yourself that not only you deserve it but that you are WORTH IT.  Your life, happiness, and fulfillment are absolutely worth pursuance of a better career and more developed relationships with people on a similar level and who can engage and challenge you.  Why wouldn’t it be? Let me lend you one of my life’s mottos:  The only things I have to do on this earth are take my first breath and die; everything in between was my choice.  And I have chosen recently to strike out on my own.  I have decided to stop making the choice to let the negativity of others affect me.  I have consciously decided to make money for myself, not be afforded a small amount of the money I am making for someone else.  You are not going to become more well stationed in life repeating the same habits and hoping for something better to come along. Decide to make it happen now.  Decide to afford yourself the experience you long for.