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Sexy Things That Happen To Your Body When You Deprive It of Carbs

 

Carbs are public enemy number one currently. If you study pseudo-science trends over the last 50 years, you’ll find that instead of just learning to eat properly we really like to try to point our finger at just one thing and place the load of blame directly on it. Fats have been held under this scrutiny- I might even write a whole blog on this subject because it’s fascinating- as well as meat, sugars, and the egg. The poor egg has been thrown under the bus off and on for thirty years. If you’re looking to drop a few summer pounds, you’ve probably already started cutting out your carbs, or are thinking about one of the diet trends currently circulating the beauty shop gossip boards, so today I want to tell you more about that sexy summer carb free body.

 

Confusion. Nothing says sexy summer bikini body like not being able to remember words, do simple tasks, or simply staring into space. Slip into your new self this summer by depriving your brain of it’s favorite (only) nutrient that it uses to function- carbohydrates. That’s right guys, gals, and non-bi pals- depriving your body of carbohydrates deprives your brain of nutrients and slows function. Enjoy the beach while you forget your sunscreen or maybe even where you are because your brain is literally starving. 5 stars, seeing stars.

 

Lethargy. Nothing says summer like not being able to complete daily tasks or play a round of volleyball because instead of learning sustainable habits you cut carbs! Carbohydrates are what gives us energy for our functions of life over a moderate pace. A leisurely stroll down the boardwalk is about all you’ll be able to accomplish when you don’t have enough carbohydrates to have any real fun.

 

Kidney stones. Nothing screams summer like the screaming pain of pissing out a sea urchin shaped ball of spikes. That’s right- it’s been well documented that an increase in kidney stones comes with a low carb diets. In addition to stones, the extra work required by the kidneys with low carb diets might even land you with your new favorite summer accessory- dialysis.

 

Muscle loss. Do you even lift bro? Doesn’t matter anymore with your low carb lifestyle! One- refer above- carbs gives us energy for explosive movements like lifting so you’ll only be working half speed anyway, and whatever muscle you might put on is at risk of being catabolized- or basically eaten by your own body- to produce the necessary carbs to function. The body, in times of starvation, has this fun little function that I’ve mentioned before called gluconeogenesis. This process produces carbohydrates from proteins and those muscly muscles are chock full of that! When the body is trying to survive because you’re not feeding it properly then it will take from any stores it can, and you’ll love your new look as your muscles are eaten by your own body. Yum! Oh, and this process is completed by the liver, so it’s always a good thing to overwork the liver right? Especially while we are having our summer cocktails! At least you dropped a few pounds, right? Oh, and speaking of, most weight lost when on carb deprivation diets is largely water weight, not actual fat loss.

 

So are you looking to yo-yo like it’s 1990 and your name is Duncan? Low carb diets are for you! They’re unsustainable, unreasonable, and the only clinical use for them is controlling seizures in epileptic children. Enjoy your loss of energy, brain functions, kidney issues, and even possible muscle loss and liver damage! Or, OR, you could learn sustainable healthy habits for a lifetime of wellness. But that’s more difficult than eating fat bobs and bacon wrapped cheese. Bon appetite!

*also, important to note that yes fruits and veggies have carbs, but as carbs should be 40-60% of our nutrition it is actually important to get in your whole grains.