You Can’t Live at 100%

We have so many phrases that we need to get rid of in the American English vernacular. We have recently really began the discussion about toxic positivity and its effects. Toxically positive phrases are not helpful, and often ignore reality or dismiss experience and emotion. We have many mantras that we have learned over the years that we need to unlearn to really manage and process the human experience, and one of those phrases is “always give 110%.”

First off, that is well meaning but mathematically impossible. Unless you are able to split yourself into two people, you are only able to give 100% period. 110% would mean you have to recruit a second party and take ten percent of their 100% effort to put toward your effort. We are only able to give so much and more than we are able is unrealistic and asking too much.

Second, and most importantly, a human cannot operate at 100% all of it’s waking hours.  We are not meant to run full speed, all the time, go go go always give 100%, always do your best, etc.  This creates burnout, unrealistic expectations, depression, binge behaviors, and much more.  We need time to rest to rebuild the body and organize the mind. We also need time to let loose and really enjoy the moment, and if we are operating at full speed constantly this cannot happen.  Think of it this way- ever seen a body builder in their off season?  They don’t live like that 100% of their life. Sometimes I even take a week or two off from fitness just to rest and regroup, and to not have to worry myself with my fitness routine.  Sometimes I eat junk because its yummy. I’ll feel like crap the next day, however I can’t always eat super healthy all the time and every now and again I want fast food or a frozen pizza- and you know what? That’s ok.

I urge you to take the time to prioritize and delegate what you give your 100% effort to, and find some things that aren’t going to matter as much if you give it an ok effort instead of A+.  What is going to matter the most in life and give the best result for your 100% effort? Health? Career? Family? Choose a couple that are the most important for your system of morals and values. I say choose things that align within the 7 areas of wellness. What comes next then? What can you give a little less effort to but still feel ok? Your hair/cosmetics? Social time? Cutting your grass? These things still need a bit of attention and priority, however no one is going to die if you don’t have perfect curls or if you are 30 minutes late to bro’s night out.  Then, ask yourself what you can give minimal attention to and still be fine? Of course these three levels will come with some eb and flow and will be on a sliding scale- maybe one day your hair really is more important than folding the laundry and that’s ok too.  Give priority.

Don’t try to do everything all the time at 100% effort because it’s simply impossible.  One thing I worked with my therapist on was exactly this: she said “I want you to make your to do list for the day and purposely not do one thing.” I hated it. I was so use to stressing myself out every day to get the little bit of dopamine from finishing the unreal goals I would make for myself. I have now learned that I don’t have to get every single thing done daily.  I can actually cut off at a certain time, time me time during the day, and actually relax from time to time. There will always be moments where it's unbalanced and that happens. Push through, make sure it’s not for too long, and get right back on track with priorities. Just like a car, we might can handle high revving and we have a top speed, however our engine will break down also if we stayed there all the time. Next time someone tells you to give 100% tell them I said that’s impossible. Be well.